Am I Really 6 Years Old?

Here's a quote everyone knows:

The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, he said:

“Man.
Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.
Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.
And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present;
the result being that he does not live in the present or the future;
he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

 Guilty as charged. The health thing just stresses me out. One reason is because I don't even really know what healthy is anymore. But mostly it's because I know no diligence. I don't know how to say no to that thing that I totally know is bad for me, but has instant benefits. I've known for a long time that sugary things make me feel particularly terrible. Does that stop me? Nah, who needs to feel well in the long run when I can taste sweetness now, am I right? This quote reminds me of how easy it is to lack a long term sense of vision. And health is the most elusive vision to have. It's easier to see a vision of a long term career or personal accomplishments. But health means I have to start doing stuff right now and be committed for eternity. I'm too afraid of commitment to sign up for anything for forever. I definitely can't give up stuff that gives me instant gratification. Sometimes I'm convinced that instant gratification is the only thing that's real. How's that for a confession. I totally lack a perspective of endurance. 

You know that scenario where they put the little kid in the room with the marshmallow and then tell them if they can wait fifteen minutes before eating it they can have another one? I'd eat it right in front of them before they even finished the instructions. 

Now if the obligation is based on relationships, I follow through without doubting it. I can do my job and my school work just because I want to uphold a respectable person's expectations of my task at hand. But I have no responsibility to myself. It's a weird thing. I can't figure out how to care for my own sake sometimes. It's growing on me, but I'm nowhere near my peers who are running marathons and volunteering their time for a million little things. I think that may be one reason why I'm so chaotic. Why care about my own world when I can be so involved in the interesting world of others?

(That post evolved in a curious manner, now didn't it?)